Dead Spirit

Couldn't get my armour on first today. Damn tenugui! I still came second though, but my tenugui still wasn't perfect. Kept feeling like it was going to slip the whole training, but it managed to hold up. Also helps that my men is getting softer, so its easier to tie it really tight. The bad thing about breaking in new armour is that you lose that smoky smell from the kote. My kote's are starting to become quite savoury. Hmm, I should invest in some febreeze or something. My tare himo/obi are getting softer too, making them easier to tie, but it still makes a huge knot, makiing my tare flap poke out a bit... hmmm

I was motadachi for last nights training. Again, not something I envy, but someones gotta do it. I don't think I'm getting better at it though. I can't seem to step back far enough while practicing nidan/sandan waza (multiple cuts).

Onto uchikomi geiko. Damn, I was feeling shit like I did on Monday. I don't know what it is, but I just feel flat. I remember back to the camp, and I remembered no matter how tired I got, I was still feeling good, and went through all the drills quite well. But tonight I just felt shit. Tried to fix the problem that sensei pointed out to me on monday. I don't think I did too much better than what I was doing. I really need to be ready to cut as soon as I turn around. I think I take a moment to pause to make sure I'm ready, then I cut. I need to eliminate this.

Jigeiko. I just sucked! I got my ass kicked in everyone... again, I just felt flat. I wish I knew how to rectify that. At the end of training, I was told that my spirit had been killed... Need to learn how to resuscitate it when I need it...